I finally booked a session with a therapist. I knew I WANTED, not NEEDED therapy years ago, but 2020 came and changed that “want” quickly into a “Need.” The pandemic, remote learning, election 2020, and Black Lives Matter Movement significantly added stress to my mental well-being.

I became overwhelmed with the news of blacks fathers, husbands, and sons dying at the hand of police officers. The previous president didn’t care about the future and well-being of my sons. I got anxious; most days, I felt sad and numb. I started to notice I wasn’t my joyous self, and I wasn’t performing as effectively as I should. I didn’t like this new territory and needed to make a change within myself and a difference in how my sons would view and experience the world.

There is a misconception that you have to be crazy or near an emotional breakdown to be in therapy. This is far from the truth; no matter who we are, life gives us challenges. I have been in therapy for over three months, and I’ve gained the support to help me cope with these challenges.

Given the current climate of things, I personally sought an African American therapist specializing in anxiety, parenting, family, and trauma. So far, it has been a great outlet to talk about my life, struggles, and emotions. I am learning to process these feelings to help me improve myself and live a life that feels safe and fulfilling. I absolutely love and look forward to my therapy sessions in the comfort of my home.

Here are five things I talked about with my therapist that have help me so far;

1.Parenting.

Parenting was number one on my list, and there’s no shame in wanting to be a better parent to your child. I thrive on doing whatever it takes to raise kind, courageous humans. However, with 2020 being a roller coaster year, my parenting became a bit more challenging. I questioned myself about a lot of things “Are the kids having too much screen time? to losing my patience in a split second. I was slowly turning into the “yelling parent.” Because of my goal to raise confident children, I knew I had to address this as soon as possible. I didn’t want to add any emotional trauma to my boys where they’d be needing therapy in the next ten years.

2.Accountability. 

I must admit I’m don’t always practice what I preach to my boys. Shocking, I know, and they call me out, which means they notice. I needed to work on my work ethic and develop ways to hold myself accountable. Overall I want to develop a better work-life and be a better friend, wife, and mother.

3.Anxiety 

My anxiety became frequent around the beginning of the pandemic. I had to decide whether to home school or let the boys do full remote learning. I chose remote learning with the fear of me failing them academically as a home school parent. However, remote learning didn’t ease my worries, and with the increase in police brutality, I need space to learn to deal with my fears of my sons not getting the life they deserve because of the color of their skin.

4.Mindfulness 

Practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment is part of my therapy. I am learning to let go of the things I cannot change or control, which I know as parents and nurturers can be very hard to do.

5.Generational Trauma.

This is a big one, and I am sure you guys are familiar with this term. Most people experience some childhood trauma, whether physical, emotional, mental, or verbal. Growing up, I most definitely got “ licks” spanked. Being the first, I got more than any of my other siblings. For this reason, I don’t believe in spanking my children and many other parenting decisions that trickled from childhood trauma. Breaking generational cycle is important to move forward to live a healthy and fulfilling life.

Therapy allows me to have a better relationship with myself, and I look forward to my hour once a week. By opening up and Improving my self-awareness, I am making room to improve everything else in my life. Being authentically me and having someone to talk to about life and my feelings is a great experience.

“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived; but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” - Maya Angelou.

Are you an advocate for mental health? let me know your thoughts on therapy